Wow. If you would have told me a year ago today, I would be taking the Miss Texas Teen USA stage for my fourth and final year as Miss Austin Texas Teen, I would not have believed you. If you would have told me I would be taking the stage as the person I am today, I would’ve told you otherwise. This journey has been exactly that… a journey. I have committed four years of my life to my ultimate dream, of becoming Miss Texas Teen USA. Each year I have grown and changed. I have grown up physically, mentally, and emotionally. It was not easy. I had days that were so great I could shout from the rooftops, I also had bad days that made me want to crawl into a ball and shut out the world. I went through heartbreak and failures. If you have been here since my very first blog, you would know it’s about my experience last year at Miss Texas Teen USA. I spoke about feeling heartbroken but knowing, in the end, I would be okay. Which to this day is still true.
For me, this experience has become much much more than winning.
It has become apart of who I am. I often speak about being the best version of myself and ultimately, it’s because of pageants that I am. I am a walking testament that pageants change young females of all kinds. It boosts your confidence, self-esteem, and opens doors that otherwise would’ve remained shut. However, the most magical part about pageantry is coming in contact with other females who are on journeys of their own. Pageantry is about building and lifting one another up because, at the end of the day, we all have the same goal… to simply be the best we can be.
Every day of my journey, I was faced with a new struggle and obstacle. Some physically, some mentally, and most emotionally. Being on a fitness journey means making the decision to live a healthier life every single day. Now, don’t get me wrong I love a good cheat meal! But, to me, my fitness journey was about keeping in mind why I was on it and who I wanted to become because of it. It wasn’t a weight or body image that I wanted to achieve, it was a sense of accomplishment and a new appreciation and understating of what it is to take care of myself. I wanted to whole heartily love myself. Two years ago, I was not living the healthiest lifestyle I should’ve been. I had no regards for the food I was putting into my body nor the motivation or care to physically exercise. I had begun my fitness journey last year prior to Texas Teen and had grown tremendously before the competition. But I knew in my heart, I didn’t work nor was as committed as I should’ve been. When I didn’t make Top 15 last year, I was heartbroken. I knew if I was ever to return, I would do it with the intention of being the best I could be and if that wasn’t my mindset, I would not do it. It was hard, but I fell into the comfort of knowing I was not alone. My mom was my rock. Every day she pushed me and motivated me. If I am being completely honest, I wasn’t sure if I should continue my pageant career after last year. I didn’t want to feel that I disappointed anyone. When I made the decision to compete for Miss Austin Texas Teen USA it wasn’t an easy one to make. It took a lot of self-reflection and deliberation. I had to ask myself if I was ready to work harder than I ever have, was I ready for the commitment? When I talked to my mom about competing, I saw in her what I wanted to posses myself. She truly and utterly believed in me. I wanted that because although I said I did, I didn’t. I made the decision to compete with the understanding that this was going to be a journey of finding myself. If I won, I knew it was meant to be for me to continue and if I didn’t, I knew God had a different plan for me. Either way, I was going to work and commit fully.
In the process, I have found myself. What makes me happy and what doesn’t. What inspires and drives me. In the end, I also learned that I am worthy and capable, we all are.
We are worthy of happiness, of our dreams coming true, and of journeys to end with complete and utter self-love.
I say self- love because that matters too. You have to love yourself before you can truly love others. Finding who you want to be is not about a dream job or lifestyle, it's about the characteristics you want to posses and embody. Characteristics that will change the world and the lives of those around you. I know who I am today is not who I will be forever, but I am a better version of myself than I was two years, one year, and even one week ago. I look forward to continuing to find myself and love who I am becoming in the process.
Throughout my journey, I have met some of the most treasured and loved people in my life today. I am a firm believer that people are placed in your life for a certain reason and lessons. I want to say to anyone who has ever supported, listened, and simply been kind to me along this journey that you are appreciated. As I go into this weekend, I will carry your kind words and affirmations in my heart to help guide my way. I do not know the outcome of this weekend, I do not know how my journey ends, but what I do know is that these last four years have been some of the best years of my life. I have learned and improved in ways I didn’t know was possible. I thank pageants but I also thank one person in particular.
Mom, I often think back to how this all began. A simple question you asked me at 14, do you want to compete for Miss Val Verde? I said yes, not knowing the way it would truly affect me. I could go on and on about the way’s pageantry has changed me but, I want you to know the biggest blessing is the incredible four years we have spent working towards this dream, together. The long talks, hours of practice, driving for hours on end for 10-minute appointments, many many dresses, all of it brought us joy and time to bond. You are my best friend. You are the reason I am who I am. Thank you for being a friend.
Just as the title says, the best way to describe my journey is The Climb. For me, although I want to win just as all 108 of the other beautiful contestants do, me standing on the stage represents the growth and steps I have taken to get there.
I am thankful, grateful, and blessed.
To my fellow contestants, any one of us who walks away with the title will represent with grace, elegance, and beauty. Let’s show everyone in the audience just how hard we have worked! I am honored to stand by each of your sides on the Miss Texas Teen USA stage.
Everyone else, pray for each of us. For guidance, wisdom, and comfort, for the next Miss Texas Teen USA and the beautiful journey, she is about to embark on.
Until next time.
XOXO,
Sam
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