First, I would like to start off by saying
HAPPY WORLD KINDNESS DAY!
Today’s blog will be along the lines of kindness but not about kindness to one another, being kind to yourself. This is a topic I believe everyone struggles with at some point in their life. We all have different journeys and different beliefs, but one common belief that I have seen in every person I have ever met is they want to be completely and utterly happy with themselves. I personally, have gone through different levels of self-love and acceptance. I believe as we grow our definition of self-love changes. One day, loving yourself is about getting out of bed and getting to work. Other days, it's about pampering and giving yourself a little extra attention. At the end of the day, self- love is vital to your happiness.
Kindness starts from within.
Sometimes, with the hustle and bustle of life, we forget the simple act of being kind. We can get so caught up in our lives that we forget to be happy and to worry about how we feel about ourselves. When I was younger, if you would have asked me if I loved myself, I would’ve said yes because at the time… I did. It didn’t take much for me to make myself happy. I didn’t have different expectations of myself nor did I feel I had to meet these expectations in order to be happy. SO yes, I loved myself and I was happy with who I was. As I have gotten older, I have gone through different challenges and situations that have changed the way I view myself, as everyone does. You go through heartbreak, great moments, bad moments, you meet different people, and ultimately … life just changes. Because of society and social media, you question your worth and beauty. You begin to be hard on yourself and forget that you too, have feelings. I believe in holding yourself to a standard, but I do not believe in beating yourself up over failure. Going through my different failures in life is what has taught me to love myself. Because I am strong, and although at times I may have felt that I couldn’t make it through, here I am writing this blog for you.
A magnificent woman once told me, “Failure does not define you, the way you get back up and dust yourself off is what does.” – Crystle Stewart
As some of you may know, I have gone through some failures and heartache. Through those obstacles, I found myself. After Miss Texas Teen USA last year, I struggled with my identity. Who was I? What was I supposed to do or be doing? Are pageants in my future? Because of this, I didn’t completely love myself. I felt that I had failed, not only myself but my family and friends. I walked away knowing I would be okay but I hurt. Emotionally and mentally. I struggled with this for a while, every night going to bed thinking about what I could’ve and should’ve done. I neglected myself because I felt unworthy. I remember one day receiving a call from Crystle. She had just read my very first blog and we hadn’t talked since the pageant. We sat there and talked, not about the pageant or anything that happened but about me. She wanted to make sure I was okay. I had made so much progress since my journey started and she wanted to let me know, this wasn’t the end. So, I did as Crystle told me and I picked myself back up.
Shortly after, I began my journey once again. This time, the journey to winning Miss Austin Texas Teen USA. I knew my journey was about much more than my health and physical challenge, it was about finding who I am and learning to love myself in the process.
I made sure I took time for myself every single day to make sure I was okay.
I needed this. We can get so lost in the moment and certain goals that we forget to take in each day and care for ourselves. I would take time every day to pamper myself. Facemasks, hair masks, watching Gossip Girl for the 3rd time. Spending quality time to learn myself was important. For me, my journey thus far was not at all about winning a title or changing my physical appearance.
It was about falling in love with myself.
I couldn't love or be loved until I knew how to do it for myself. I learned so much about myself and because of that, I was able to relate and appreciate others more. I can appreciate another’s journey and strength because I myself have had to find my own strength. Every day is about learning about yourself because every day is about growth and evolving. The person you are today is not the person you will be next week or the week after. We are supposed to grow but your love for yourself should do the same.
Give yourself more credit for the awesome person you are, you deserve the kindness that you show others.
At the Miss Austin Texas Teen USA pageant, I was asked what my definition of success is. My answer “when you can look in the mirror and say you love who you are”, why was that my answer? Because that was my journey. When I was able to look in the mirror and recognize my growth, evolution, beauty, and worth… I knew I was successful. To me, success isn’t about wealth or the dream job, it's about loving yourself for who you were created to be. When you’re truly happy in life, that’s you being successful.
Please, remember to be kind to yourself.
XOXO,
Sam
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